"I wanted to take white trash T-shirts and make it into a video"
- Kanye West, 2013
I feel a bit of pressure to pretend that we’re so irreparably injured by Kanye’s use of ‘the WT’ that we just can’t ride this fence for another minute, but it kind of came and went and I think we’re over it…
Sure he used a racist term but I definitely don’t think he’s a racist-racist. I know everyone hates it when people are like “I’m not a racist, my favorite comedian is so-and-so” or “I’m not a racist, my girlfriend is half Canadian”, but heck I think he’s hung out with Bruce Jenner so he can’t be too party-line Panther. We’ll give him a pass.
I was just saying the other day that I got a lot in common with Kanye. business is going pretty well for both of us right now, we’re chasing some great women that we’re pretty enamored with, and on the artistic side we’re both just totally nailing it…
Hey, we all know what it’s like to be riding the big wave, get a little manic, and say some crazy shit.
It’s like this -
Picture some townie wants you to come by and take a few tree’s down and is totally willing to spend a couple bucks for the favor. As a ‘tree surgeon,’ I’m totally unregistered, uninsured, and let’s face it, almost wholly unqualified to be jerking around on such a high-stakes project but ‘bam!’, that’s the risk entrepreneurs like us take and it feels good.
It ain’t easy. Sometimes you pull the cord on the saw like 15,000 times before before that hawg starts to strain and even touching the throttle just a tad too much almost chokes her before the chain just barely moves and then you know it’s game-on. We want people to know ‘we did it’. I don’t care if my arm feels like it’s gonna fall off, but I just made this kitty purr and I’m ready to cut down every tree in Eden if I get chance.
THE DEFINITION OF AFFLUENT
If things can’t get any better, I don’t even have to haul away the wood chips (cha’ching) cause the lady of the house is convinced she want’s to make some bullshit / woodchip ‘trail’ in the yard like something she saw on Martha Stewart or that stupid Pinterest (if you don’t boil or bleach ‘em it’s just going to look like shit but if you want me as a designer that’s extra, I am in Lumberjack mode).
Even though it’s November and like 11 degrees out, the neighbor lady is walking over and I think it’s time to ditch the Carhartt and start the gun show. She’s A-Z impressed and noted the dangerous ‘widow-maker’ branch (her choice of words, I think she’s trying to hint around!) in her back yard. Could I take it down for 2 hunjo? Pfrt! Why do all these development folks feel the need to ask questions they know the answer to…
THE TRUTH - MONEY MAKES MONEY
I asked to use the facilities in both homes and noted that they they both have ‘fireplaces’ that don’t even burn wood so there’s no point in asking if they want the down’d trees cut and stacked to cure for next winter. It may take four trips but bet your ass those 2 cords are going right in the truck before the sun goes down. Como se dice “Side Business!”
THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT
No matter what I am jacked. If nothing else I can get 6 hunjo for this firewood in less than 10 months.
Now I’m off to Grossman’s with a pocket full of new cash to buy a proper door for a lady (I ‘measured once, cut twice’ on the current door that I put on the bedroom last year and the four-inch gap at the bottom now means anyone walking up the stairs can see right into the lady’s boudouir for a few steps, long story). Anyway, I am not there for 2 minutes before the dooshbag from Schaghticoke has to chime in about what year my truck is… You all know the type. Never hustled a day in his life and ends up inheriting a farm and bank full of cash and now he’s driving a King Ranch like he’s the freaking mayor and invented the pyramids. I know exactly how Kanye feels. You start shopping in a place like Grossman’s and you’re bound to bump into people with a lot more than you and I’m sure that’s the case for Kanye in Hollywood or wherever he shops. Before you know it, just like Kanye, I have gone on a rant about how I’m not just a dude jacking trees (off the state’s radar) but I am a one-man department-of-forestry and Husqvarna wants to talk about a tree-cutting reality show called “Jim’s Limbs”. You always regret exaggeration after the fact but it just happens when you’re around these peckerheads…
Hatchet buried, totally forgiven.
Happy Thanksgiving Kanye!